unmuted

The true idea of love was once to be seen as something slow burn like a romance book. It used to be intentional and something people sought after. Pre relationship, couples would talk for months before even thinking about dating, but they went on real dates. Not just getting food a few times. People used to view relationships as long term commitments. Something that they would work for and strive to impress. However, today, the idea of love is much more casual. Being nonchalant, especially among younger generations, has grown to become very common. Pretending that we don’t care about events that are meant to be special and long awaited is only causing psychological harm amongst teens and young adults. “For emerging-adult college students, engaging in casual sex may elevate risk for negative psychological outcomes” (Eisenberg et al. 231). A big reason for this change in heart is solely based on how we communicate with one another. Texting, social media, and dating apps make it very simple and easy to connect with people. As great as that may be to have the opportunity to create instant connection with people from all over the world, it becomes just as easy to disconnect. This advantage of being able to ghost somebody and meet someone new right away has damaged our concept of what true connection means, as well as empathy for the other person.  Online, everything moves quickly, relationships formed online often do too. The idea of casual sex has ruined the idea of sex even having any meaning, and it is prevalent in girls’ experiences especially. “…subsequent psychological well-being, especially among girls; FWB relationships involving penetrative contact increased girls’ psychological distress …” (Dube et al. 2323). Many people have begun to treat love like something that can be easily replaced, not something you build and work hard on. There’s also a stronger desire for independence. Codependency has been recently seen as a flaw. People now want to protect their freedom and avoid commitments. It is a selfish thing honestly. Casual relationships feel safer because they are way less emotional. Instead of working through problems and growing as individuals for another person and to better a relationship, it’s common to just move on to the next. Even though love has become more relaxed, it doesn’t mean these same people engaging in casual don’t want real love. Many still have deep desire for deep relationships. Love today is more flexible and less intense. It doesn’t matter what kind of connection it is. As a society, many individuals just crave to be desired. It feels good to be wanted, in any way. People continue searching for connection, and even though the style of love has changed, the desire remains the same.